Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes | Merry Christmas 2024

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes: Hello Everyone, First we wish you Merry Christmas 2024 you and your family. Christmas is a delightful time of the year, the snow is falling, the fairy lights are out, the trees are up, your wallets are empty, it’s freezing cold, there’s too much food and everything’s too expensive. Actually, maybe it’s not so delightful after all.

The most wonderful time of the year is here! Christmas is all about putting up decorations, being with family, eating too much, and finding that perfect present. It’s also a time of the year when it is important to have a sense of humor.

We think that when it comes to Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes are the best. We have scoured the internet for the best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes and sayings to put a smile on your face.

So whether you are setting up the tree, writing your Christmas cards, or simply looking for a laugh you will find the perfect Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024 and sassy Christmas quotes here.

If you like Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes, sayings, wishes, and captions check out our lists of Short Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes. Jump ahead to your favorite category or just start scrolling to find your favorite funny Christmas quote.

Laugh, drink, and be merry with these Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes! These humorous Christmas quotes are perfect for spreading holiday cheer when shared with family and friends. Whether you use these funny quotes about Christmas to spice up your latest festive social media post or to use in a Boomf Christmas card, we hope they bring a smile to your face!

Christmas is the most magical time of the year; it is full of love, laughter, and family. But, to create some special memories this Christmas, what could be better than sharing funny Xmas quotes? Full of festive cheer and creativity, these sarcastic Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes are sure to put a smile on your face and get you in the Christmas spirit!

Short and sweet, these Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes are full of fun but without the fluff. This makes them an ideal addition to Boomf’s funny Christmas card, so you can let the fun and creative designs do the talking!

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes

• ”A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Melanie White
• ”There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Conan O’Brien
• ”One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales.” — Grace Kriley
• ”A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• ”From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! – Katharine Whitehorn
• ”Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy.’” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Robert Paul
• “The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can’t charge it.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Bill Vaughan
• “There are a lot of things money can’t buy. Not one of them is on my son’s list.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Milton Berle
• “It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Jimmy Kimmel
• “‘Mistletoe,’ said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it. ‘Good thinking,’ said Luna seriously. ‘It’s often infested with nargles.’” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — J.K. Rowling
• “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Robert Paul
• “There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — P.J. O’Rourk
• “One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.” — Louis C.K.
• “This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Anthony Jeselnik

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes for Friends

• “I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, ‘Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.’ The paper I used said, ‘Happy Birthday.’ I didn’t want to waste it, so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Demetri Martin
• “I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” — Steven Wright
• “People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Anonymous
• “My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.” — Dave Barry
• “I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Earthman Adam
• “Of course Santa is dead. You force a guy to eat a billion cookies in one night, what do you think is going to happen?” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Jimmy Kimmel
• “People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Linda Sunshine
• “Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn’t.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Evan Esar
• “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Robert Godden

Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes for Family

• “The older I get, the fewer useless gifts I get. The fewer I get, the less I have to wrap to re-gift for next Christmas.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Robert Rivers
• “You can just hear Santa saying ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ when you receive your credit card statement in January.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Kate Summers
• “I never get to see Santa Claus come down the chimney because I always get too tired and fall asleep from eating all his cookies while waiting for him. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Theodore W. Higginsworth
• “Santa’s reindeer get around so fast because they have athletes feet. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!  — Kids Sure Are Funny
• “Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! Dave Barry
• “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘Toys not included.’” — Bernard Manning
• “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” — Garrison Keillor
• “Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?” — Unknown
• “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin
• “Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “Once you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear for Christmas.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown

Funny Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Quotes for WhatsApp Status

• “You know what I got for Christmas? Fat.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” — Unknown
• “Dear Santa, I was framed.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “Single all the way.” — Unknown
• “Sleigh all day, then cabernet.” — Unknown
• “Santa Clause wears a red suit. He must be a communist. And long hair. He must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe he’s smoking?” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Arlo Guthrie
• “Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” — Stephen Jones
• “Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even if you’re home.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Carol Nelson
• “I just want to be rich enough to buy enough ornaments to cover more than one side of the tree.” — Charlotte Christmas
• “I wish we could put some of our Christmas spirit in jars and open one up every month.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Unknown
• “Let’s get lit.” — Unknown
• “Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Larry Wilde
• My wife is definitely my better half…the top half!
• My Christmas wish is that your love will be as strong ten years from now as it is today, except on Thursdays when we go shopping.
• I love my wife, even though she doesn’t always get my jokes.
• My wife says I never listen to her…or something like that.
• It’s hard to be romantic when you’re hauling a Christmas tree.
• Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and receipts for all major purchases. – Bridger Winegar.

Funny Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Quotes

• If my wife says one more time, ‘It’s cold in here’, I’m going to move to Antarctica.
• When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. — Prince Philip
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. — Rodney Dangerfield
• My wife told me we weren’t doing Christmas gifts this year, so I did the smart thing and bought her Christmas gifts. Happy wife, happy life, right?
• “Christmas Eve, a perfect night to express affection for your family, to forgive those who failed you and to forget past mistakes.” – Unknown
• “Blessed is the season, which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.” – Hamilton Wright Mabi
• “Remember, if Christmas isn’t found in your heart, you won’t find it under a tree.” – Charlotte Carpenter
• “Christmas magic is silent. You don’t hear it — you feel it, you know it, you believe it.” – Kevin Alan Milne
• “Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.” – Eric Sevareid
• “Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” – Peg Bracken
• “The smells of Christmas are the smells of childhood.” – Richard Paul Evans
• “All I want for Christmas is for the cookies to bake themselves. 🍪🎄“
• “Me: ‘I want a unicorn for Christmas.’ Santa: ‘Be realistic.’ Me: ‘Okay, a smaller unicorn then.’ 🦄“
• “Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Well, most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own presents. 🎁“
• “This elf needs a little extra eggnog to get through the holiday cheer. 🎅🥂“
• “Jingle all the way, but like, not too loudly. Some of us are trying to nap. 😴🔔“
• “I’m on the ‘nice list,’ but I also have a ‘naughty list’ just in case Santa’s feeling adventurous. 😉“
• “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle. It’s just Christmas! 🎄✨“
• “If you think I’m putting effort into wrapping gifts, you clearly haven’t seen my handwriting. 🎁🤷‍♂️”
• “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this Christmas. 🍷🎄“
• “Current mood: Buddy the Elf levels of excitement. 🧝‍♂️🎉“
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. 🍷❄️“
• “Christmas calories don’t count, right? Asking for a friend. 🍪🍰“
• “I’m only a morning person on December 25th. ☕🎅“
• “Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting a dictionary for Christmas because apparently, you can’t spell ‘naughty’ right. 📚🎁“
• Feel free to use these captions to add some humor to your Christmas posts!

Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024

Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes: Christmas is a time of joy and warmth, surrounded by the love of family members and spending some quality time with friends. The holy festival is a symbol of spreading love, peace, and happiness all around.

Each year families get together; some visit their friends and indulge in memorable parties to celebrate the birth of Lord Jesus Christ. On this beautiful season we wish you a Merry Christmas 2024, make some memorable moments.

The worldwide celebration season, Christmas festivities approaching, and the craze among people around the world can be seen as quite awesome as usual. People leave no stone unturned to make this season memorable one of the year.

It’s time to spread the vibes of peace, kindness, and happiness all around. At Christmas, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, let’s keep in mind the truth of Christmas Day. For it is not the Christmas wrappings nor the gifts that lie within, but our gift of love to others in every way. So on this auspicious occasion, take the time to write some beautiful Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024 for everyone to bring a large smile to their faces.

If you’re struggling with what to say and how to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, you can find the right words on this list. Here we present you with some Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024 on the holiday season for all your loved ones.

Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes 2024

• I hope Santa leaves you plenty of presents, but I hope the reindeer do not leave behind any “presents” on your lawn! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• I wish for your holidays to be filled with many big smiles and big celebrations – but hopefully not big credit card bills! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• For some, the best part of Christmas happens…. when it’s all over! Wishing you a stress-free Christmas season! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• May you have plenty of mistletoe on hand this Christmas… and lots of good kisses too! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart… but cash and gift cards do wonders too! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• I’ve never decked the halls and I have no idea what Jingle Bell rock is. But I hope your Christmas rocks! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• It’s the most wonderful season indeed – until everything has to be cleaned up, and the credit card bill arrives. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• If I were to re-write the “12 Days of Christmas,” I would include things like chocolate, cocktails, and fancy dinners instead of French hens and turtle doves. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• It seems that the Christmas season keeps getting earlier each year. If it gets any earlier, Halloween is going to feel offended. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Sometimes I feel like I should leave my Christmas decorations up all year; it seems that by the time I take them down, it’s time to put them back up again!irp]
• I wonder how Santa celebrates Christmas day. After the late-night shift he pulls, I bet he stays in bed all day and does nothing. Sounds nice. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• It must be hard living in the North Pole like Santa Claus. I can’t imagine living in a place where there’s no pizza delivery! Hope your X-mas delivers some happiness! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Christmas is the only time of year when I buy nuts, and it’s the only time of year I feel like I may go nuts. May you keep your sanity this holiday season! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy holidays! May your egg nog contain enough rum to get you through the Christmas season!
• As I child I loved the taste of fresh, white snow. After trying some yellow snow first, I found the white snow to be much, much better. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! May Santa fill your stocking with winning lottery tickets! Hope you holiday season is a winner! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Santa can definitely do some pretty amazing things. But I really wish he could make “late fees” disappear off of bills. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!

Best Funny Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Quotes

• Instead of presents, I wish Santa would lend me an elf for a year. I’m pretty sure I could find enough things for him to fix, build, or clean for an entire year! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! May you receive presents that make you happy – and not fruit cake and ugly Christmas sweaters. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• I love Christmas, but I am glad it comes just once a year. Otherwise, I’d definitely turn into a major Grinch! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy holidays! May you have plenty of coffee and caffeinated drinks to get you through the Christmas season! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• This holiday season I think I will donate my bathroom scale. that way I won’t be weighed down with guilt going into the new year! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Happy holidays!
• I love the holidays. But sometimes I could use a little less “Jingle Bells” and a little more “Silent Night”. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holidays! May there be plenty of sales and coupons wherever you go to do your Christmas shopping. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• This time of year so many get concerned about eating too many calories. Therefore, I will gladly take any unwanted Christmas cookies. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Christmas dinners are the best. While I may not be the greatest at cooking, I am pretty good at eating! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holidays! May you be able to participate in the activities of the Christmas season rather than the flu season! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! Santa is giving you the gift of a frigid winter – but just for a few more months!

Best Funny Merry Christmas 2024 Messages

• My Christmas wish for you this year is simple: with all you are going to consume over the holidays, I hope your digestive system can handle it like a champ. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holidays! May the magic of Christmas still be with you when you open your next credit card bill. Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holidays! May all your decorative lights be in working order this season. I hope your Christmas is bright!
• Merry Christmas! May you not lose any packages in the mail this holiday season. (And may they be delivered on time too!) Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! I hope Santa brings you presents – and not sickness – this holiday season!
• Happy Holidays! May your electricity remain on and your plumbing work the entire season! (And I hope reading this doesn’t make you all flushed!)
• Merry Christmas! May the lines at the stores you shop at be short, and may your patience be long this holiday season! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Merry X-mas! May you be surrounded by jolly elves – and not nasty grinches- this holiday season!
• We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas and a debt-free New Year! Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free 2024

Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free: Christmas is almost here! The season of mistletoe, candy canes, visits from Santa, decorating trees, and visiting with family. All of this means you will end up with so many amazing Christmas meme photos and need equally amazing and preferably funny captions because we think that when it comes to Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free are the best.

We have scoured the internet for Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free 2024 including funny Best Merry Christmas Funny Quotes 2024, short witty Christmas captions, and funny Christmas card captions.

So whether you are putting up the Christmas lights, decorating your tree, mixing the perfect Christmas drink, or looking forward to Santa’s visit you will find the perfect funny caption about Christmas here.

Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Funny Quotes

• “I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, ‘So does the guy I stole it from.’” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — David Letterman
• ”Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Gary Allan
• ”I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Maya Angelou
• ”The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” — Johnny Carson
• ”Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.” — Samantha Bee
• ”It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales.”— Milton Berle
• “Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.” — Charles M. Schulz
• ”We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Bill McKibben
• “It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Craig Ferguson
• “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Henny Youngman
• ”Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.” — Stephen Fry
• “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Victor Borge
• ”The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin
• “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
• “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Andy Borowitz
• “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear
• “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” — Bob Phillips
• “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Shirley Temple

Famous Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Funny Quotes

• “It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Bill Murray
• “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Johnny Carson
• “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Phyllis Diller
• “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Bart Simpson
• “You can’t fool me—there ain’t no Sanity Clause!” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Chico Marx
• “Nothing says holidays like a cheese log.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Ellen Degeneres
• “The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Jay Leno
• “There’s something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!  — Kristen Wiig
• “I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. I was too young to help with the hauling of the trees up the hills and putting them onto cars. So, it was my job to pull the praying mantis pods off of the Christmas trees. The problem with that is if you leave them on there, people bring them into their house. I forgot to check one time and they hatched all over these people’s house—and there were hundreds of thousands of them!” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Taylor Swift
• “I don’t want Christmas season to end, because it’s the only time I can legitimately indulge in on particular addiction: glitter.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Eloisa James
• “In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! ― Dave Barry
• “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Melanie White
• Christmas is such a carefree, low-pressure time—that’s one of the things I love about it. — Stephen King

Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Funny Quotes for Friends

• “‘White Christmas’ is the ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ of Christmas songs.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! ― Stewart Stafford
• “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Elf
• “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” — Bridger Winegar
• “Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! ― Bill Watterson
• “Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Melanie White
• “Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.” — Jimmy Fallon
• “I hate the radio this time of year because they play ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ like, every other song. And that’s just not enough. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Bridger Winegar.
• “This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Guy Endore Kaiser
• “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Kin Hubbard
• “What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” — Don Marquis
• “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Frank McKinney Hubbard
• “Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Andy Borowitz
• “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!! — Unknown
• “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” — Larry Wilde
• “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” — Jerry Seinfeld
• ”The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” Best Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!! — Elf
• ”Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet.”— Unknown
• ”Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” — Melanie White
• ”The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” — Julius Sharpe
• Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
• I’d rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. — Paul O’Grady
• There’s something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh. — Kristen Wiig
• The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. — Buddy the Elf
• Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home. — Carrie Latet
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller
• My husband’s idea of getting into the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. — Melanie White
• I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear
• Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. — Kin Hubbard

Funny Christmas 2024 Instagram Captions

• You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full
• Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.
• My fat pants are ready. Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it! Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!
• All spruced up and ready to jingle the night away.
• Getting more lit than the Christmas tree.
• Bah, humbug!
• You can find us under the mistletoe.
• All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate
• Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks.
• What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes Free!!
• Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us.
• No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice! Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
• We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows.
• This one had me at “ho ho ho”! Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe
• Your presents is requested. Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
• A mistle-toast to the holiday season
• But wait—there’s myrrh.
• Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
• I love you from head to mistletoe.
• It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
• Oh, deer. Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Yule be sorry. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• The Christmas alphabet has noel
• All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies
• Hold on for deer life. Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental
• Sugar and spice make the holidays nice.

Short Merry Christmas 2024 Wishes

• ’Tis the season to sparkle and shine. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holi-yays!
• My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness
• ‘Tis the season to be freezin’ Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!
• ‘Tis the season to sparkle. Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example Merry Christmas 2024 Eve Funny Quotes!!
• Be naughty, save Santa the trip. Funny Merry Christmas Eve Quotes!!
• I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa! Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list. Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your family can stand.
• You might be a bit of a bah humbug, but we still love you! Merry Christmas!
• Thanks for being such a fantastic friend and putting up with my terrible jokes.
• May your holiday season be merry and bright… and all your Christmas lights work this year! Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• Hope you have a holly, jolly Christmas and a happy New Year – ya filthy animal!
• I hope Santa is good to you this year… because I hear you have been naughty!
• Holiday greetings to you and yours and all that jazz! Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!

Merry Christmas 2024 Wishes

• Wishing you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year… now let’s get this party started!
• We hope your holiday season is as sweet as candy canes and merry as a jingle bell! Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• Be sure to spend Christmas how it’s meant to be, in a food coma on the sofa while the kids run riot on a sugar high! Ah, the true joy of the season! Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!!
• Kid: ‘What are you hoping Santa brings you for Christmas?’ Dad: ‘Peace and quiet.’
• Home is where the heart is…and where the Christmas cookies are!’
• I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!! — Emma Bombeck
• My family knows how to make Scrooge look like a party animal!
• At Christmas, all roads lead home. Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!! — Marjorie Holmes
• Christmas is just one day a year when you can act like a kid and not get in trouble for it.
• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. — Andy Rooney
• Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!! — Washington Irving
• My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? Funny Merry Christmas Eve 2024 Quotes!! — Bob Hope
• From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas brings us closer to each other. — Emily Matthews

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Read More- Best Merry Christmas Wishes 2024